Shit's the Jam.
But they will keep thievin ass fools from stealing your bicycle. I happened upon this excellent example of jortz protection when I stopped into Berkeley Bowl West (OF COURSE!!) for some snaxx. I shoulda remembered that later when I skipped Jortz Practice to do my laundry and work on some necessary things that are important to me.
Some amazingly terrible asshole STOLE MY MOTHERFUCKING BRAS from the dryer at the corner laundromat!!!!!!!
I’ll say it again.
My bras were stolen! Out of the dryer! Against my will! I immediately questioned the only other person in the ‘mat. I asked her frantically, as if looking for my lost pet or kid or wallet (got everyone covered? can you all relate?), “Hey did you see any bras around here?!” She looked at me like the crazy bitch I was, asking about random bras just lying around the laundromat! Then I made some PSA’s and posted them. The lady was still there. She thought I was even crazier.
GAH! Shoulda had a pair of jortz covering my bras in the dryer. Then they for sure wouldn’t have been filched!
Fuck you bra-thief. If I ever find you, I will face-punch you. If anyone finds my bras, please contact me, ASAP. You will be rewarded handsomely: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/wan/3376239213.html
Lessons learned? NEVER MISS JORTZ PRACTICE.
-Not so klassy right now.