But Mummy, I WANT A GOLDEN GATE!

I don’t care how! I want it NOW!

We are all collectively bummed by the breaking news that BASP #4 will not be held in Golden Gate Park this year, as it has been for the past eight years.

Okay, okay. Everyone just calm down! You in the dress, stop smirking! You’ll continue to have your fun…

This missive came directly from the T-O-P, Tom Simpson, BASP Overlord:

In words immortalized and paraphrased from the immortal Obi-Wan,

Dudes, I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if hundreds of voices were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.”

Well, I don’t know about how terrible it is, but something has disturbed the Force, the CX Force, that is. If you don’t know your San Francisco history, Golden Gate Park was built by John McLaren in the latter part of the nineteenth century, way out in the sandy hinterlands of SF. The barren space was ¾ sand dunes and those gazillions of trees you enjoy today were planted to help stabilize the dunes. But in 2012, the sandy and delicate nature of the Park means we can no longer race – the Park is showing too much impact and can’t withstand the amount of wheeled traffic we pour onto it both every Thanksgiving weekend and during the frequent training sessions.  The trails, the new plantings designed to continue to anchor the underlying dunes – they are all in jeopardy from an overabundance of our wheeled traffic.

We had significant discussions with SF Rec/Park officials about methods they would require to alert and manage traffic on the course (we’d have to have our staff on site in the park during the week prior to the event to keep the course clear of off-road cyclists) but that combined with significant new permit fees – we can’t do it. We’re still going to be racing on November 25– it just won’t be at GG Park again.  Hope whoever has enjoyed the Park since 2004 and our first event will keep those great memories alive and  transfer them to all other existing Cyclocross venues – they’re difficult to find and just as difficult to keep. Let’s enjoy our memories of some great events and move forward to more great events at our available locations.

See it’s all pretty logical. Save the environment AND a fuck ton of money. After all, that’s what we’re all about in cyclocross, right? I mean, I AM a cheap bastard* and I DO love to hang out with Mother Earth–thus, I ride cross.

*I acknowledge that not all cross racers are cheap bastards, there are too many plastic frames and wheelsets for me to claim that.

So whatever. We move on and don’t talk about why this doesn’t really suck in the grand scheme of things anyways. You know, you know. Like I said, you in the dresses, show a little respect for the poor schlubs who live down the peninsula, eh?

So on we go and remember the awesome times. My first cross race ever was the BASP Golden Gate–true story! I borrowed Heather Pugh’s bike for the race and sortakinda fucked up her brakes. Consequently, she does not anymore, loan out her bike to people racing on the same day as she. Sorry I did that dudes. Thanks Pleathah!

Again, Ted Ketai.

So now, here we are. Reeling in the haze and glamour of this past Saturday night at Sierra Point, what with their big lights, omnipresent generator buzz and big shot, East Coast, race announcer– I can’t help but remember how much I hurt during the race as well as the morning after. Oh you want proof?

Exhibit A.

There on top of “heckle hill” we partied until 9PM. And then promptly went home and passed out. I mean, I did.

What the hell!? It looks like a frat party barfed all over that red bucket. No wonder the man in the background has his “I’m so pissed I just shit my pants” face on! Some asshole kids made an obnoxious mess all over the place. I mean, we did. I mean, his friends did. Notice the Jortz coozie, proof!

The heckling up on heckle hill was top notch though, seriously. We had ass dollar hand-ups:

Metal war cry heckles:

Photo By T.KEtai.

And.

Ted Again, Duh.

Did you see that? We metal-war-cried at Ben (Andy?) Jacques-Maybes and the power of Norse gods coursed through his bulgey, neck veins! Unfortunately he did not win as he likes to usually do, but he did snag a tidy podium spot. Good job, Jacques-Maybes! When we caught up with him after the race to ask him what he thought of our megametalheckle…

Call me Jacques-Maybes?

… he showed off his neck, then got uncomfortable and awkward-seeming and ran off for his podium call before he could really let us know his true feelings. Probably all the pressure of being surrounded by so many JOrtz at once. I guess next time, you should just be one with the power of Thor, Greyskull and JOrtz and win, Jacques-Dammit!!!

PHOTOG: TK.

Thanks for the memories, y’all!

XOKlassy!

PS: Thanks Mme. O-H for the bloggity-love! And Ted Ketai for always taking great pictures, usually of us.

JORTZ! JORTZ! JORTZ!

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