BASP #1. Jortz Domination.

Cross has come in like a lion, SacCx, Cross Vegas, DFL and now BASP #1 at Candlestick Point Park! I am proud to say that we had a full Jortz showing yesterday and not only did we shred to the max but we ripped everyone else’s legs off in the process. I do believe Tom Simpson dubbed the Women’s B podium, the Team Jortz podium and the words “Team Jortz domination” were spoken at some point over the P.A. system. Here’s why:

Team Jortz goes: 1, 2, 5, 6, 11

Yup that’s no mirage, Team Jortz went first, second, and fifth! We took three of the five podium steps and stepped in for sixth, just to make sure no one edged out fifth. Yours truly watched 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th come in mere seconds before her–ouch that stings! I shall now apply my roadie-toadie-douchebag training mantras for every race from here one out, “every second counts, every second counts, lather, rinse, repeat.”

But enough grumblin, Bangable and I took the hole shot! Since BASP was lining people up in reg order, I secured a nice front row slot in the start grid and shaking like a feckless chihuahua, shot out at the whistle like a terrible toddler trying to escape into oncoming traffic. It was beautiful. And some beautiful man who goes by the handle DanLeonard99, caught our moment of glory with his surveillance drone!

The Jortz Glory-Hole-Shot

The Jortz Glory-Hole-Shot


Awesomely enough, I endo-ed and faceplanted mere minutes later from flying too high (oh, Icarus.) over the first little jump, AND MY CHAIN DIDN’T EVEN DROP! I jumped back on my back and got back in the race as Bangable came up behind me yelling, “you’re still in it! you’re still in it!” That’s what teammates are for, to tell you to get off your dusty ass and RACE. SYB witnessed the whole thing but didn’t manage a shot–if anyone has photographic evidence of this epic crash, please send it to jortsmaterial[at]gmail[dot]com!!!!

At one point there was a fantastic lineup of jortz leading the head of the race. Pure glory. Like I said before, I slipped from 1st to the 11th in about a few laps time but cheered on those in front of me as best I could and put myself in the hurt locker for as long as I could stand it. I must say though, my dismounts and remounts were ON. FUCKING. POINT. Barb Howe herself woulda been proud.

Thanks to everyone who filled out the Team Jortz cheering sections around the course. Special mention to the GHETO crew and their fuckin ridiculous chicken suit! WTFFFF?!?!!? HOW YOU GUYS BE SO RAD!? Big thanks to Timm of The Spoke Cyclery, our awesome sponsor who came out to cheer us and other like-minded dirtbags to glory! And perpetual thanks to Rahman Law’s Shaana Rahman for making our racing dreams come true!
Team Jortz on Podium on Make A Gif

Jortz Wins CX-iest Team at BASP #1

My bruise is bigger than your bruise.

-Sometimes Klassy

3 responses to “BASP #1. Jortz Domination.

  1. Bangable, you’re my fucking hero. Nice job. I got 5th place in the remote control olympics this past weekend :). Love ya!!!


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