BASP #2. The Repechage of the jortzNATION.

Well jortz nation, I did it again.

I mounted the ole podium for a second consecutive week. I still maintain my surprise in the quality of my legs, especially since I got no more than six hours of sleep the night before, drove a total of 4 hours before my race, had absolutely no time for a pre-lap or warm up and absent-mindedly grabbed my boob-iest sweater. But boy, check out that sweet medal they gave me!

Okay, so I got third place at the BASP Candlestick #2 race. Which is nutty, but I’ll go ahead and tell you all how it happened. I know you’re dying to hear how I pulled off such a fantastical feat.

Step 1. I had a front of the grid start position again because I place 11th at the first BASP race and half of the top ten ladies didn’t show up for Candlestick #2. My start, again was bomber–though no hole shot this go around, that glory was taken by my amazing teammate, Buckethead. I que’ed up neatly in fourth behind, Kendra, who I bested last weekend at the NorCal CX series. Ahead was Buckets and May Woo–who typically starts well also.

Photo by Jon Suzuki

By Jon Suzuki. Notice my cleavage, Lena’s sneer and Vanessa’s jersey that she’s never washed.

Step 2. Capitalize on a crash. Really that’s all a “right time, right place” kind of thing. And unfortunately, the crash involved May Woo and Buckets! Both were back up by the time I got to them but I swooped right on by, hot on the heels of Kendra-from-last-week. She wears a red and black Nalini skinsuit and is very tall. I kept her close as we entered the singletrack that now feels as familiar as field nextdoor to my childhood house where we neighborhood brats built dirt jumps for our bikes and had dirt-clod wars with each other, cowering behind broken cement refuse barriers, tumble weeds and whatever someone had illegally dumped in the field. And to think, we get to race there ONE. MORE. TIME. I’m pleased. I really don’t hate Candlestick, it’s nice to be able to ride to a bike racing venue from my house (even though I drove for this particular race).

Step 3. Think of a really good mantra or channel a spirit animal or spirit champion. When I ride, I’m really not motivated by the chase. That whole “carrot on the stick” mindset does absolutely nothing for me. But channeling a spirit champion/animal always works like a charm. Like when I was mountain biking the other week on some trails that were a little above my pay grade, I just repeated to myself “be like Julie Bresset, be like Tanja Zakelj” whenever something really hairy confronted me. I won’t tell you who my spirit champion for CX is though, it’s kind of a personal thing. Plus you might start to channel this certain champion too and what if the spirit gets overloaded trying to be on EVERYONES channel!? It’s selfish, I know. But I’m not sorry for it. Don’t even ask about my spirit animal, that’s strictly between me and my shaman.

Step 4. I was leading in the top two for the next three laps until Tanya Grossman from road racing came and passed me on some silly section. Then I was immediately in third. I didn’t really like that but I knew that she wasn’t gonna really “Vos” (no that’s not my spirit champion) me and Kendra, so I kept racing but didn’t freak out. Then the next lap a pink and blue jersey crept up past me and slotted me into fourth–oh HELL no. So then I really made sure I kept my speed up and lines clean, no bobblehead fuck-ups, thank you very much! For the last lap, I rode the downhill that everyone kept running down (including me). I scoped some girl ride it on lap 4 and saw how easy it was. When lap 5 came around, that rutty downhill was mine.

Step 5. Never stop racing. The four of us crossed the Start/Finish line right before Rachel Lloyd (I’m not worthy!) and so everyone passing the line after us was pulled. LEADERS LAP, BOOYAH! I saw a couple girls made it through, so I made sure to keep racing the final lap but curiously Kendra-from-last-week all but stopped riding her bike. WTF? So I passed her and seated back into third place right behind Marion Silies and Tanya Grossman. We played accordion with our bikes for a bit until the final right turn onto the pavement which they hit before me. And subsequently crossed the line before me. Hilariously Marion said she didn’t know she was racing for first (or something like that)?! Srsly? And Tanya didn’t know Marion was behind her and was just sprinting for the line like a regular old roadie, just for the hell of it. Amateurs. And that’s funny because it’s true. And because we’re all amateurs. I came in 5 seconds later. Beaming with pride.

So there you have it. My five easy steps to my first BASP podium. Mo and Brett asked me how I did it when were cooling down in the parking lot after, I told em’ that I’ve been drinking more beer lately and that it was probably that. In all truthiness, I’ve been getting some sweet mountain bike rides in, it’s more than likely that. Everyone knows mountain biking makes you way better at life anyways.

I also wore the nasty jortz again, I think they must have some sort of special powers now. I’ll never wash them again.

Ms. Styer, if you're nasty.

Ms. Styer, if you’re nasty.

Yours in Grime,

Sometimes Klassy

One response to “BASP #2. The Repechage of the jortzNATION.

  1. It’s even worse. Tanya Grossman of TRIATHLON racing “came and passed you on some silly section.” šŸ™‚ Ugh.
    Keep that jean jumpsuit rolling.


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